My Mother Manages Life
14 Feb 2011 4 Comments
in family, random thoughts Tags: family, mother
My Mother’s life was tough, and hard, and has been very long. As a young child she was raised in a fair to middling economic status, and had aspirations to be a singing star. Her life spiraled away from that dream pretty quickly. At about the age of 14 she moved in with her oldest sister, and there she learned the hard way about what a relationship with a man was all about. I do not know details of that learning experience; I have just pieced together that knowledge for stories from my aunts, which I heard over the years. Later, at the age of 16 she married my father, a man 10 years her senior. He went away in the service during World War II and left her young, alone, and pretty lost in a town she did not know, with a mother in law that just did not show her much love. Her dreams of being a singing star still existed, but they were tempered by the reality of her life…imagine; being 16 and alone and lost…My father returned from his service and took her and her then unborn daughter to a farm in the backwoods of Iowa, no electricity, no running water, and she coped, she managed. Her first child was followed by 4 others, and she managed, she coped, and she loved her children in her best way.
When I was 7, her life was starting an upturn, her house had electricity, running water, and her husband had become economically stable. And then, in a strange accident, he fell from a light pole, hit his head on a concrete slab and died.
So again, Mother’s life took a sad turn. She floundered for a bit, dated a few guys, and then married Ed, when I was 12. Ed was steady and around, and industrious. He did love Mother. With Ed, my Mother adopted the first two of my youngest brother and sisters. She loved them.
Ed died of a brain aneurysm, by then I had left home and started my own somewhat dubious life of the time. Mom was alone with 2 kids, and she raised them in her best way.
And then she met Chuck, (I am pretty sure we all share the same opinion of Chuck), but in the midst of all of his con artist ways, he did assist Mother in adopting our youngest sister. So every thing has a blessing. Chuck she divorced after a number of years, after finally believing that he was not an honest man. He left her poor, farm sold, money gone.
And she raised her youngest daughter in her best way.
Finally came Bernie, and he was sweet. And he loved her, but shortly after the marriage, he became ill with emphysema and after some years of living with an oxygen tank, he passed away as well.
Mom is now 86, and has survived many very critical strokes; she lives with my oldest brother and his wife. They take marvelous care of her, and I think that although she may be fairly bored these days, (she is frustrated because her thoughts do not translate into clear words) She is content, and living a peaceful life.
My relationship with my Mom is unclear. I left home at 17, full of angst, and got into the habit of never communicating. But she is a good woman, with a history that spans nearly a century, and more living in her than can be known, and I love her in my way, and hopefully I can someday call it my best way.
Summer dreaming
10 Feb 2011 1 Comment
in random thoughts Tags: cowgirl, family, friends, old west, palm reading, people, special events, spiritual, summer, travel, women
A small family of three
02 Feb 2011 Leave a Comment
in family, People I Know, random thoughts, travel Tags: cowgirl, family, friends, people, spiritual, travel, women
When I was quite young, back in the very early 70′s, I hitchhiked with a friend; Diana (a self proclaimed native princess from New Jersey) all about the western states. One chilly afternoon found us on a deserted highway somewhere near Santa Fe. Walking for hours, we waved our thumb towards the occasional traffic. The sky was getting darker, rain clouds building up. Figuring that we were going to have to find someway to keep ourselves warm and dry, we settled into the top of a roadside ditch, pulling out our plastic parkas, putting on our warmest clothes. “Maybe”, we said, ” if we just sleep through the night we will be okay by morning.” As we were sitting, a pickup drove past, then, stopped and backed up to us. Jumping up, we ran to the side of the truck and tugged open the passenger door. A really big guy was in there; really big, with a smile that was even bigger. “Jump on up in” he hollered to us. We looked at each other, eyebrows raised, then, with a mutual shrug, jumped on up in.
And headed down the road. His music blared, and he sang along happily. I noticed that his truck was equipped with a hand brake, and a few other gadgets I did not understand. Seeing me looking, he turned down the music, and explained that he had lost the use of his legs in an accident years back. Life would never stop this man, he was destined to move forward every day! We eagerly conversed, riding through the storm, he with a great deal of interest, us with a sense of freeing relief, snuggled warm and safe in this giants cab.
This man, this stranger, took us to his home that night, fed us fried potatoes, coffee, and gave us a place to sleep, for no other reason, than friendship and the joy of giving.
Early in the morning he woke us up, apologizing for the early hours, and said he needed to show us something before dropping us at our next exit. Piling back into the truck, we drove into the morning, stopping on a bluff, overlooking the city, and there watched, while sipping from his thermos of coffee, enthralled, the sun rising with a glorious light, growing brighter with color and degree, until day had officially broken.
We were quiet, the three of us for the rest of the trip out to the main highway, us two women, continuing our journey, he, our new never seen again brother, content. We three had created a small family of the moment. And all was complete.
