A New, Clear Perspective

Just last week the terror of gun violence hit home hard in our family.  Two of our grandsons were in a school that was held on a 5 hour lock down due to a tweeted threat to “shoot up the school”.  Like many, when I heard, my heart raced, my throat dried, and I felt a cold, powerful fear.  And anger, I felt anger.  How dare someone put my children in danger!  Like many, I spent the afternoon worried about the outcome.  And anger, I felt anger.  And my daughter, the mother of my threatened grandsons presented me a new perspective, a clear perspective.

frightened child in boatThe boy, a 15 year old with a diagnosis of autism, had been in the school this entire time, unarmed, frightened, the tweet a misjudged political statement on gun violence and the ability of “adults” to protect our children.

It seems the school knew right away where the tweet appeared from, it was not a hidden account, knew the boy had a diagnosis, and knew he was with all of the other kids locked down in the classroom.  Yet, for hours, our news stations, ran non stop coverage of this new “threat”  Police, FBI, Helicopters, blocked roads, all this occurred with unnecessary alarm.

And finally, after hours of terror, the boy was arrested from his classroom, thrown in jail, and allowed 5 minutes a day with his parents.  He is still there, in jail, broken, suicidal, crying, in total despair.  Not receiving the help he needs to save his spirit, just being punished.  And me, I am ashamed of my hatred for him and ashamed of the Orono Police and Schools for politicizing this event, rather than help save this boy.

I am told he is gentle, kind, and has never been threatening.  Like any child with guncontrolautism he has poor impulse control.  And not thinking, thought he might be helping.

I do so believe in gun control, I believe in peace, I believe in helping our children survive.  I believe in preventing and healing, not terrorizing our young.

Please visit this site and donate what you can to help him, help his family, and help this community move forward into a future of light not one of anger and darkness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Auld Lang Syne

pagennewyearLately my words have failed me, not because I have nothing to say, but because when I sit down to write my thought, my mind wanders.

The concept of Auld Lang Syne for instance.  Recently I reconnected with a friend from my distant past.  Distant past! From two or three lifetimes ago.  Sue was a woman that I spent countless hours with in my youth.  We talked, we exercised, we had babies, we ate, we commiserated, we loved one another.  Life and I think the need of both of us to remove our selves to new worlds interfered.  We both moved, we both divorced, we both remarried, I divorced again, and had another daughter. We lost our connection.

When I finally found her on Facebook I was hesitant to reach out, would she remember me?  It had been over thirty years, all four of our children were grown, we were now grandmothers, no longer those immortal children of our early twenties.

We both had continued to live, both to grow, both to love, and had new friends, new lives, far apart from one another, in years, life styles, and distance.

But I messaged her, and waited, for about a week.  I was a tad anxious, would she still want to know me?

And then her message came.  And then a phone call. and we laughed, we chatted. I cried a bit on my side, so happy to hear from that beautiful friend.  I admit to stalking her Facebook page whilst I waited, and I was so relieved to know that her infectious smile was still the same.  And now we are making plans to spend a weekend reconnecting.

So what is the point of this ramble?  Although lifetimes pass, and we make new and beloved friends, create new families, new adventures, we can go home. And our home always lives in our hearts.

Happy new year to my friends, new and old.  I love you all!friendship

Solstice and Cheri

winter-boatMy sister Cheri was born a some decades ago on a stormy solstice night.  My mother once told me that her middle name was Gale because she blew into the window during a snow storm.  She is a storm, of goodness, and heart, and compassion.  The Solstice is the perfect time for her to be born.

A Solstice celebration is one of a new beginning, of letting in the opportunity for longer days, more sunlight, perhaps healing, perhaps joy.

My sister is that, she opens her heart to joy, to the opportunity of hope.

I admire her, I love her.  Happy Birthday Cheri, I am glad you are in the world.mom.cheri

And..the shock wears off.

So here is the deal.  For the first week after the election I was in intense shock.  I mourned, I rationalized, I became angry, I bargained.  And then, yes, I accepted.  Trump is our president and I am quite worried.  Am I willing to give him a chance?  maybe, but what I have seen to point makes my quiet acceptance doubtful.

Today I learned one of his staff will be that Bannon character, (I shudder at giving that person a better title than that)  Bannon, one of the leaders of the Alt right will continue to have the close ear of our president,  Bannon, a man who offers our country no hope of healing but does give hope to these that hate.

For 6 days I have said little, not wanting to offend my Republican friends and family, yet I have watched those same people trash protestors, continue to demean wonderful women like Michelle Obama, continue to demean and group Democrats as whiners, evil protestors, sore losers.

And finally I decide, screw it.   I despise Trump, I fear for the goodness of our country, our great country, and no, I am not moving to Canada as one “friend” suggested.

I am remembering back in my youth, protesting a war that our country could not win, that was killing and destroying our youth in mass, and being told the same thing, if you dont like our country leave it.

Yet, is not our country based on freedom of speech, is not our country based on protest?  I am told to take a breath, let it play out.

So…I am protesting, yes he is our president, but I don’t like it, and I will not remain silent.  He is deplorable. And I will speak.

Once I was young. I believed, then I forgot, now…I am aware again…

arrested_suffragette

 

 

 

Sweetest Sister Sandi

 

newkids

sandi,steve, mom and ed

Well, I missed your birthday my sister, I was away from my computer for a few days, and frankly, the date blindsided me until I saw it on Facebook.  How the heck did it get this late into the summer?

Sandi you are kind, smart, honest, beautiful, innovative, funny.  A great woman, a wonderful mother, and a fantastic Grandma.

You love with all of your heart, and for years I have watched you shower others with so much care, concern, and eagerness.  I have worried that you do not shower yourself with such bounty, but I have noticed in recent years you taking the time to think more of yourself, and I am so happy about that.

Your life has not been an easy one, you have lived through massive obstacles, pain, and you have always come out kicking, cept for that one time when your knee was smashed in a car accident,  you were not kicking so hard after that.  You did keep moving forward though, through everything.

sank and girls

sank, amanda, sam, mandy at the farm

You have learned to enjoy your moments of joy, to savor them, to imclude them in your memory banks, to create them.  I love that.

And sigh, I must apologize for locking you out of the house when I was babysitting you back on the farm, well, you say I did that anyway, I am not sure I acknowledge it, but…#notthebestbigsisterever.

beautysank

I love you sista, I honor you, I respect you, I admire you.  Happiest New Life Year!

 

 

For Seth on his birthdate

I love Seth, he delights me.  His quirky sense of humor, highly intelligent view of our view, sweetness, creativity, and much more delights my heart.

He loves my daughter Sarah, and she loves him. Together they are making a future together that awes me.   

Seth has helped John immensely with his work,  on graphics for John’s business, he gets what we need.

Seth lives large, with a fabulous sense of adventure.  He lives with style. I just adore him.

Happy birthday Seth, you deserve only greatness!

The Fourth Marches On!

Happy fourth everyone. 

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Our country, well, we are so diverse.  We are a people made of the cultures, beliefs and history of  many.  We have a great deal of goodness to focus upon,  so at this time I will.

Happy Fourth of July.  Celebrate this honest holiday with pride and faith!

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