My friend Zau is from Angola, born there during a war-torn period. My understanding is that he grew up in a pretty normal environment, had a loving father and mother, siblings, cousins; a complete life. His normalcy changed at the age of 12. At that age he was removed from his home and impressed into the Angolan Army.
His normal existence was still that, normal I mean, a new normal. Brutal relationships replaced loving ones, his companions were still similar in some ways, and childhood friends grew with him into strong soldiers. Normal became a tough, unyielding, day by day process of staying alive, staying healthy, living under a shadow of fear.
Zau’s spirit stayed strong through this all, continued to grow, perhaps overwhelmed by the meagreness of his existence over the years, but his spirit prospered. He continued to love and honor relationships…
When Zau turned 18 his closest companion was killed during combat. Now understand that the normal procedure for fallen comrades was to bury them at the site. Zau did not want that for his friend, and did not want the family of his friend to always wonder what had happened to their cherished son.
So, picking up his friend, he left the battle field, making an irrevocable choice to truly believe in compassion and freedom. He carried his friend home, and left him in the village of his heart and life.
With that choice he also made the choice to leave the war, and the control and sadness that he had lived under, unwillingly for his past years. He left the county of Angola, and traveled, eventually ending in Rio de Janeiro, where he earned a living creating wonderful jewelry and leather work, and fathering the child of his heart, Zinga.
It came to pass that while he was selling his art in a city bazaar in Rio, he met the woman of his heart, my friend Karen Sorbo. They recognized the correctness of their love and he eventually left Rio to come to live in Minnesota with Karen. I had the honor of performing their wedding ceremony a few years ago, and it was right.
Every departure has some grief, and Zau was not able to bring his daughter home to Minnesota, she to this day remains in Rio with her mother. They live in a destitute area of the city, filled with gang fighting and drugs. He is unable to convince her mother to move.
At this time Zau visits her as often as he can, supports her and her mother. He wants to bring her home with him, but is not allowed by our governments to do so; he has no real rights as her father.
If any story I write has a goal, the goal of this story is to send out waves of love to Zau and Zinga, to send out waves of hope, and compassion and awareness. It is my goal to help Zau bring his daughter home with my words, and hopefully with the spirit and heart of you who are reading this.
Tilly Evan Jones 